


never get to hold you

by Suicix



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Reunions, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 07:59:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13162674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: Sometimes, Yugyeom really can’t help but worry. He knows this is what he signed up for when he started dating Mark, always knew that Mark would have to go back to the States at some point, but even knowing that, he still finds himself almost expecting that things will fall apart. (They don't.)





	never get to hold you

**Author's Note:**

> i've been trying to finish this fic for months now (honestly, since the spring time...... and it's the end of the year) and FINALLY! it's done! also, i've never written this ship before, even within an ot3? wow! (yeah, i've written ot7, but that doesn't quite count in the same way, i feel.)

Sometimes, Yugyeom really can’t help but worry. He knows this is what he signed up for when he started dating Mark, always knew that Mark would have to go back to the States at some point, but even knowing that, he still finds himself almost expecting that things will fall apart.

He couldn’t have been ready for it, is the thing. He couldn’t have been ready for it, because when they first met, Mark was nothing more than a handsome face and a kind smile and a laugh much louder than his voice would have you believe, and Yugyeom’s crush on him seemed impossible. Mark was effortlessly cool, and Yugyeom swore he was the opposite whenever he saw Mark: a red hot blush, incomparably awkward.

In the end, though, it somehow wasn’t impossible. Yugyeom still can’t quite believe it. Mark asked him out, they went on a few dates, and made it official. Boyfriends, a couple, _together._ Together, even if right now, they’re on different sides of the globe.

There are times when Yugyeom goes through the worst case scenario in his head. They break up, and then Mark will never come back here, and because of that he’s going to lose all his Korean, and then there’ll be nothing left of Yugyeom there with him, and Yugyeom will be forgotten, discarded. Just another relationship for Mark, even if Mark feels like this serious, sweeping, once in a lifetime romance for him. He knows the reason it feels like that is because Mark’s older, because Mark’s more experienced, because Mark’s seen more of the world than he has. He also knows that it’s something he shouldn’t feel insecure about – something Mark would tell him he shouldn’t feel insecure about – but again, he can’t help it. They talk often, even though the time zones are difficult to work around, Skyping and sending photos and commenting on each other’s posts on various SNS. Yugyeom will wake up in the morning to a notification telling him that Mark’s liked a photo he posted, and it’s such a small thing, something that hardly mattered when Mark was in Korea except for during the time before they started dating, but it helps to know that Mark’s thinking of him, keeping up with his life.

And now, what helps even more is that they’ve finally made concrete plans to see each other next month: Mark’s coming to Korea.

Next month becomes three weeks’ time, and then two weeks’, and then one. Yugyeom’s been counting down the days since the date was first settled on, and now that the number’s down in the single digits he’s beginning to feel nervous in a way he wasn’t before. Every time he sees a selca of Mark’s where he’s smiling, he swears the number of butterflies he can feel is too many for his stomach to contain – too many for his whole chest, or even his whole body: it’s like they’re trying to break free from him altogether. It definitely doesn’t calm down when he realises all over again that soon enough, he’ll be seeing that same smile in person again.

Four days. It’s almost got to the point where Yugyeom’s counting down by the hour. Less than a hundred, which he thinks is a reasonable amount for him to be able to think about it in hours without feeling stupid about it. Still, as excited as he is, that doesn’t mean that he’s outwardly enthusiastic about it all the time, especially after a long day, when all he wants to do is lie down and not move and not think about anything.

That’s how he and Bambam both seem to feel this evening, though Yugyeom would argue that he feels it the most: he’s spent more time on his feet today. They’ve eaten, and they’re lounging around in the living room of their shared apartment when there’s the unmistakable sound of the doorbell. The noise is jarring. Yugyeom groans. For a moment, neither of them make any moves towards getting up. Yugyeom very, _very_ adamantly shakes his head when Bambam tells him to go and answer the door.

“I’ll get it, then.” Bambam yields eventually, and Yugyeom sinks further into the couch. He doesn’t want to get up for at least a year. Dance was a _lot_ that afternoon.

He doesn’t even get to stay like that for a minute.

“Yugyeom-ah!” Bambam calls. “It’s for you.”

Yugyeom sighs, heavy, and slowly peels himself off the couch. Who could possibly be at their door specifically for him at night time like this? It can’t be someone here to sell something, because it’s late in the evening and Bambam would have told them _no thank you_ by now, and that definitely wouldn’t be someone calling specifically for Yugyeom like this apparently is, and – _oh._

Yugyeom stops in his tracks when he gets to the hallway. The answer to that question, apparently, is Mark.

Mark, standing there in the doorway with a fresh California tan and an overnight bag slung over his shoulder and a suitcase beside him. Just the sight of him – here and real and there for Yugyeom to touch – has Yugyeom’s heart dancing in his chest, has him wanting to break out into a jubilant dance of his own to a silent beat.

“Hey,” Mark says, flashing his teeth in a grin. It’s been so long since Yugyeom last got to see that smile in the flesh that he’d almost managed to forget just how much it affects him; he can’t seem to string together a sentence.

“Hyung,” he says a moment later, lips stretching into a smile that matches Mark’s even though he’s still confused. “But I thought – next week.”

Mark just shrugs.

“I somehow managed to find a cheaper flight sooner,” he tells Yugyeom. “And I wanted to see you. Wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, I think you definitely surprised him,” Bambam says, elbowing Yugyeom in the arm, and Yugyeom feels his face flush darker. “Both of us.”

“Yeah,” Yugyeom agrees. The door’s still open. “Oh – you should come in.”

Mark steps inside, and Yugyeom closes the door behind him. His arm brushes against the sleeve of Mark’s hoodie as he does, only ever so slightly, and just being able to touch Mark like that feels almost dreamlike, even though it isn’t skin to skin contact. They’re so close to each other now, and Yugyeom wants to wrap his arms around Mark, wants the embrace he was so sure would happen at the airport next week.

“I’ll leave you guys to it,” Bambam says, leaving the hallway, and Yugyeom supposes that’s his cue to finally, after all this time spent apart, actually touch Mark again.

He moves closer, and almost simultaneously, they wrap their arms around each other. It’s so good to get to have this again, to be able to breathe Mark in, his scent and his warmth. Yugyeom tilts his head down so he can bury his face in Mark’s neck, and Mark’s arms tighten around him, holding him close. This, more than anything, is what Yugyeom’s missed. More than sex, more than kissing Mark. He gets to have the non-physical things when they’re apart, so it isn’t those. Just holding him, being held by him. That’s what Yugyeom misses the most. What he doesn’t have to miss anymore, now that Mark’s here with him. He never wants to let go.

He knows he has to, eventually. And somewhat regrettably, he does: just in time for Bambam to re-enter the room.

“I’m going to Jackson’s,” Bambam announces, slinging the bag he’s carrying over his shoulder.

“He’ll let you stay at such short notice?” Yugyeom wonders, though he knows that Jackson will, even if he’s busy.

“He will when I tell him Mark’s over,” Bambam says, shooting Yugyeom a pointed look. He smiles at Mark. “It’s good to see you, hyung.” The smile widens, turns into a smirk and a knowing glimmer in his eyes. “Have fun, you two!”

He’s out of the door with a fluttering wave, and Yugyeom and Mark are alone.

“So,” says Mark.

“So,” Yugyeom repeats. He can’t seem to stop smiling, not that he actually wants to stop. “We should – the living room?”

They make their way through. The TV’s still on; on the screen, the main character of the drama kisses her love interest. Had Mark not shown up out of the blue, Yugyeom might have reached for the remote and switched the TV off in an _I miss my boyfriend and I’m so very tired_ fuelled rage, but now, he doesn’t have to miss Mark anymore. Now that Mark’s here, he doesn’t even feel all that tired anymore, either.

“Have you eaten?” Yugyeom asks.

“On the plane.”

Yugyeom might have only been on a plane a few times in his life so far, but even he knows that isn’t good enough. Airplane food isn’t exactly anything to write home about.

“That’s not good enough,” he says, repeating the thought out loud. “We’re supposed to go shopping for groceries tomorrow, but as for now, I… think we have ramyeon? Or we could order something in?”

“It’s fine,” Mark tells him. “I’ll see what I can find.”

Mark finds the ramyeon. He also finds sausages and a packet of cheese in the fridge, which Yugyeom frowns at, puzzled, but Mark doesn’t seem to care. He just cooks it all up together, as at ease in the apartment’s tiny kitchen as he was the last time he was here. He knows how their microwave works, knows where to find the chopsticks. He knows that you have to be firm with the cold tap because it gets stuck – knows all the tiny parts of Yugyeom’s everyday life, _remembers_ them.

Once the microwave _dings_ to signal that the food’s ready, they settle on the couch in front of the TV, and when Mark’s done with his food, the bowl set down on the coffee table, Yugyeom stretches out across the length of the couch, his head in Mark’s lap. He has to curl up so he can fit, and Mark pets his hair, smiling down at him. It’s so easy. Yugyeom had forgotten how easy it is when they can touch like this, where there’s no language barrier or cultural differences whatsoever. Just hands and skin and warmth.

Yugyeom could probably happily fall asleep like this, but there are other things on his mind: things he somehow hasn’t done since Mark got here. Like kissing Mark. How have they not kissed since Mark arrived? Yugyeom’s kind of disappointed in himself for not doing it sooner.

He sits up a little, shuffling around so he’s in the best position for it, leaning in close. Mark gets what he’s going for and lets their lips meet, keeping it soft, one gentle hand cupping Yugyeom’s cheek. Even with as light as it is, though, Yugyeom finds himself melting to it immediately. He swears he’s had this thought every few seconds since Mark’s arrival, but there’s no other way to put it: Yugyeom’s missed this. So, so much.

“You taste like ramyeon,” Yugyeom murmurs against Mark’s mouth when they break apart, and Mark laughs.

“What were you expecting?” he says. He doesn’t even give Yugyeom the time to answer before he’s pressing closer again for another kiss, and Yugyeom lets him, just going with it, relaxing completely. Mark’s hand is actually gripping at Yugyeom’s face now, tighter than before, and Yugyeom loses himself to it all over again. All that’s on his mind is Mark, and all he can feel is Mark. It’s all he’s wanted for the past month, for even longer than that. Sure, he’s been able to talk to Mark, to keep in contact with him, but what he hasn’t got to have is touch, to actually _feel_ him. Sex, too. Yugyeom’s missed that a lot.

He wonders if that’ll end up happening tonight (it always was an important part of his _Mark’s first night back in Korea_ fantasies, always sent him to sleep with a smile on his face as he counted down the days), but if Mark’s yawning is anything to go by, he’s too tired. Whatever. Yugyeom can wait. As much as he wants to be able to touch Mark properly, to be able to get Mark off (to have Mark get _him_ off), as much as he wants something more than what he was able to have when Mark wasn’t here, something more than just sexting and Skype calls and the photos Mark would sometimes send him afterwards, he doesn’t _need_ to have it right now. Not if Mark doesn’t want it. After all, they’ve got time. More time than he anticipated.

“Tomorrow, maybe,” Yugyeom says when they’ve talked about it for a couple of minutes. “Before Bam gets back, though, because otherwise he’ll find out and complain that he left for nothing.”

“OK.” Mark grins, teeth sharp and bright and exactly as Yugyeom remembers. He smiles back: it’s just as contagious as Yugyeom remembers, too.

Instead, they share a shower, just as naked as sex but a different kind of intimate. The water’s warm, and Mark’s skin is warm against Yugyeom’s, and Yugyeom can’t wait to relearn every single part of Mark’s body. They wash each other’s hair and very suddenly get interrupted by a shampoo bottle – Bambam’s, judging by the fact that Yugyeom doesn’t use it as well as the big bold writing on the side proclaiming that it’s for coloured hair – tumbling down from the rack to hit the bottom of the bathtub. Yugyeom’s so surprised by it that he practically dives into Mark’s arms; he counts them lucky that it didn’t fall on their feet. Mark just laughs at him, picking up the bottle and carefully putting it back before wrapping his arms around Yugyeom again, kissing him again.

It feels kind of strange, sharing a bed again when Yugyeom’s been able to stretch out across the mattress for so long, but he can’t bring himself to care when it’s Mark. It doesn’t feel like he has less space, doesn’t feel like half the bed’s his and half is Mark’s. It’s more like it’s all both of theirs, no need for divisions whatsoever.

Mark falls asleep first, but Yugyeom can’t blame him. He must be tired after the flight, and though he probably could have found a hotel room and crashed there for the rest of the day to sleep off some of the jet lag, he came to see Yugyeom instead, to actually spend time with Yugyeom instead. It means more than Yugyeom can say, more than he thinks he could ever put into words. He strokes a hand through Mark’s hair, slow and gentle, and Mark hums in his sleep. Like this, he’s so relaxed, and his hair’s soft under Yugyeom’s touch. Yugyeom kisses the side of Mark’s neck, kisses under his ear where he can reach, and lets his own eyes fall shut. He thinks it goes without saying that this is what makes it all worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, everyone!! i can also be found on tumblr @ vibetechs, and on twitter @gotsevenses


End file.
